Chunky Monkey and the Hygiene Hijinks

Woft of the week

So, due to the dreaded C word I have not been on a plane for a very long time. Us Pure-Blooded were literally banned for a year or more from entering a plane. I guess the good folks in charge of our safety are not able to read charts and graphs. “it´s the Vax stupid” should be De Santis´ catch phrase for his 2024 push.

So due to a very busy schedule and about 30hrs of flying this week I decided since I had to wake up very early for this flight today, and tomorrow I will be sitting in planes and airports for 22hrs I would upgrade to business class so I could just walk straight through the priority check in, and as the website kept bloating about enjoy having no one sitting next to me. At the gate there was what one could only describe as a putrid land whale. I even texted a friend stating that god I hope the chunky monkey with the BO that could be mistaken for a dead camel´s ring hole is not in my row. Well it turns out the good people at Finnair just took my money and frauded me. The sulphurous sweating sasquatch came and plonked down next to me. I asked her if she was sure this was her seat as it was a business class area and there is supposed to be a seat free between people. The bipedal bulging beluga got her phone out of her pocket, the whole time I was praying to the almighty that she does not open up her arm pit and expose ground zero, and checks that it was actually her seat. The oily olfactory orangutan then plonked down next to me with the force of silver back charging at its enemy. If only I was sitting next to a turd flinging monkey and not this salad dodging sundae scoffer.

Luckily that was only a 2,5hr flight. I hope I got my bad luck out of the way and I sit next to a slender sleeper for the big one. It is 2022 after all and I thought that people actually knew how to wash their hair and body before a going out in public.

I will try to write more often now that life is starting to return to normal. I might be starting to get some smelly but powerful inspiration!!

Cube Cubis checking out.